| I will no longer be posting at this xanga, closing a long chapter of my old self so I may advocate my new self. This will forever remain a memory of my middle school years until up to my upperclassman self. |
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| I did it.
I expressed myself like how I wanted to.
I did forget some words, like I always do when I am with him, but I explained myself as well as I could.
I write better than I speak because I think of what to say when I write, unlike when I speak.
And even when I think before I speak, it doesn't come out right often.
I am starting to change and I hope I don't lose the good parts of my old self. |
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| I posted this on my livejournal and wanted to post here only beause I haven't posted in so long.
Today I experienced my first near miss of what could have been a disasterous earthquake. It was so sudden and unexpected, but I'm glad that I didn't panic when it happened. I did what I was drilled to do since elementary school, get under a desk and duck for cover. So I think I may be able to think logically during a crisis after all. I know I was asking for something different in life, but I totally didn't expect something like this to occur.
And for updates about the program..
I'm starting to like it less and less because of the huge lack of organization. And also, one of our interns told us that he'd be there to help us whenever we need it, but I believe that was a false promise. We've asked him a few times to aid us in the financial section of our plan, but he has not fallen through and now we can't make deadlines. I'm disappointed with a lot of things that SBI offered. I thought it'd be much more. That's why I stopped trying since the beginning. I don't have motivation to work anymore, but I continue to do so anyway, one last effort with the business plan and presentation. Anything else I don't care for. This will be my experience and I believe I will not regret it.
Also, what happens at school regularly also happens here. The cliques, the groups..We were supposed to be a "family", but I don't see any family at all. People being close with the inner people and those of us who try to get in are pushed aside, our efforts wasted. I find out that people who looked approachable are not very helpful at all when they say they are. Lies. Lies. Lies. Why are people this way? I really don't know.
Purity is lost in the world. |
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| Why is it that those who raised and nurtured me give me no joy in life?
I don't feel happy living with my parents at all.
Others give me pure bliss, namely my prince.
I just can't wait to be rid of them.
Then true freedom will come at last. |
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| Freedom is here.
Time to start anew begins.
Must take its reigns and triumph.
Can desire reach a zenith? |
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